Praise be to Allaah.

One of the greatest blessings that Allaah can bestow upon a young woman in these times that are full of fitnah (temptation) is a righteous husband who adheres to his religion and who respects the rights of his Lord and the rights of his wife. The wise, righteous woman, if she receives a proposal from one whose religious commitment and character are good, should not refuse on the grounds that she is studying or working, because if she refuses marriage at this age and gets older, when she does get married she will have to compromise a great deal on what she was hoping for when she was younger and was sought as a wife by many people. 

Secondly: 

As for going against your father’s wishes with regard to getting married or not, and choosing a husband, this is subject to further discussion. 

If the father has a legitimate reason for objecting, then he must be obeyed and not disobeyed; disobeying him and going against his wishes comes under the heading of disobedience towards parents (‘uqooq) which is a major sin. 

But if the reason for his objection is a worldly or social matter that is contrary to Islam and the aims of sharee’ah, then there is no sin in going against his wishes, but you should try hard to please him and convince him. 

It should be noted that it is essential to respond to the wishes of a wise father, because he knows better than her what is in his daughter’s best interests. If Allaah enables you to get married, you may become a mother, and how would you feel if a man came wanting to marry your daughter, but you and your husband felt that he was not fit to marry your daughter? Would you want your daughter to go against you and your husband? 

A father may think in some cases that he does not want his daughter to go away after she gets married and that she should stay close to him, because he thinks that she may be mistreated or lose her rights if she is far away from her family and lives abroad with her husband. This is undoubtedly based on reality and experience. 

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allaah preserve him) said:  

She may think that this person is good for her when he is not good, so she does not have the right to go against her father’s wishes so long as he is looking out for her best interests. 

Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan (5/242). 

In the answer to question no. 6398 we said:

The family – customarily and usually – is able to know what is best for their daughter and who is best suited to marry her, because usually girls have little knowledge and experience of life and what is best for them, and they may be deceived by some nice words, and be ruled by their hearts rather than by their heads. 

Hence a girl should not go against her family’s opinion, if they are known for their religious-commitment and wisdom.

End quote. 

See also the answer to question no. 20162 for the stories of some women who went against their families’ wishes and married those they wanted.  

Thirdly: 

It is essential for a woman to have a wali (guardian) to do the marriage contract for her. This is one of the pillars or essential parts of a shar’i marriage. It is not permissible for a woman to give herself in marriage without a shar’i guardian. If she does that, the marriage is invalid and is not a permissible, shar’i marriage, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1002) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. 

See also the answer to question no. 7989. 

Fourthly: 

It is not permissible to live in the lands of shirk and kufr except in cases where there is a shar’i reason allowing one to stay there, such as medical treatment, business, da’wah and other essential matters. As for living in their countries and settling among them, that is not permissible because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I disavow myself of every Muslim who settles among the mushrikeen.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (2645) and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. 

Fifthly: 

We should point out two things that are mentioned in your question, which are your working and your getting to know the young man who wants to marry you. 

As for a woman working, what you say about the principle that a woman’s work should be in her home to take care of her husband and children is undoubtedly correct. But if a woman works outside the home, her work must be permissible in nature and the environment should not be unislamic. If her work is in a riba-based bank, insurance company or a place that offers or sells haraam things, then it is not permissible for her to work there.  

If the nature of the work is permissible but the environment is not, such as if there is unlimited mixing with men and the door is open to dealing with them and getting to know them, then it is not permissible to work there.  

As for your getting to know this young man, if that was in a haraam way such as corresponding or talking or programs that allow the sexes to get to know one another, then this means that you must repent and seek forgiveness, because talking and corresponding with non-mahrams is not permissible. This is a reason that may dictate that he should not marry you.  

The ruling on this action has been explained in many fatwas. See the answer to question no. 78375. 

To sum up with regard to your problem: you should not hasten to enter into a marriage that your guardian does not want. If you see that your father’s refusal is not based on any acceptable shar’i reason, then try to convince him to agree, through your mother or any family member or relative whose opinion is valued by your father, especially as you are nearly thirty years old, which means that your guardian should be focusing on choosing a suitable husband for you, not a suitable job. 

I ask Allaah, the Most High, the All-Powerful, to choose good for you in all your spiritual and worldly affairs. 

And Allaah knows best.