Islam Question and Answer - He is going through a financial crisis and lives in a western country with his parents, and he feels embarrassed to ask them to go back to their homeland

Wed 8/12/1430 - 25/11/2009

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Basic Tenets of Faith » Alliance and Amity, Disavowal and Enmity
Etiquette, Morals and Heart-Softeners » Manners » Honouring Parents

He is going through a financial crisis and lives in a western country with his parents, and he feels embarrassed to ask them to go back to their homeland

Both my parents and sisters lived in their own apartment back home in Algeria. I live in London and Recently I have bought a new appartement and both my parents and sisters have moved into it and are living there since. they have left the old appartement to my two other brothes. Now time have changed and I have found myself in a new difficult financial situation and alos getting old.my question is can I ask my parents to move back to theire own appartement whicg they still own and is occupied by my 2 brothers, their wives and kids. My objectives are to sell the appartement or to get married and live in it with my wife. this has not been eazy for me at all as I am living in guilt.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

We appreciate your keenness to honour your parents and your fear of falling into sin with regard to the way you interact with them. We ask Allaah to increase your reward and to help you to do that which pleases Him.

Secondly:

Undoubtedly it is very difficult to tell your parents that you need to ask them to leave your house and go back to their country whilst you remain in the house, especially if the reason is your marriage and bringing your wife to take their place. We appreciate that and empathise with it. But there is another option which you did not mention, and we think that it is the option that is in accordance with sharee’ah and is appropriate in your situation. It is that you should sell your house in London and go back with your parents to your original homeland, and marry a pious Muslim woman, and buy or rent a house which will be sufficient for you, your parents and your wife.

There are a number of benefits in this solution:

1. Leaving the land of kufr in which you are living and to which you have brought your parents to live.

2. Not hurting your parents by making them leave your house.

3. Marrying a woman who is of the same religion and country as yourself.

4. Bringing the family together in one place and not causing it to be separated.

5. Leaving your brothers in their parents' house and not making them leave it.

This is what we think is the best choice for you and for all your family. But if you reject it and insist on staying in that country, then we feel compelled to advise you of the other option, which is the lesser of the two evils: you should sell your house and then spend its price on two things:

1. Sending your parents back to their country and renovating and expanding their house so that it will be big enough for them.

2. Marrying a woman who is religiously committed and keeping yourself chaste, and living in rented accommodation until Allaah makes things easier for you.

If you want to marry a Christian woman, then see the answer to question number 2527, in which are listed the conditions of marriage to a woman of the People of the Book.

We advise you to think about the Islamic ruling on your staying in that country; perhaps you will respond to our advice and leave that land for the sake of Allaah, for you have the promise that Allaah will compensate you with something better than it.

It was narrated that Abu Qataadah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will never give up a thing for the sake of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, but Allaah will replace it for you with something that is better for you than it.” Narrated by Ahmad (22565); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Hijaab al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, p. 47. Also classed as saheeh by the commentators on Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal (23074).

In the answers to many questions we have discussed the issue of settling in kaafir countries and the negative consequences that result from that, as well as the conditions that must be met by a person if he settles for a legitimate shar’i reason that makes it permissible for him to settle there. See the answers to questions number 11793, 14235, 27211.

And Allaah knows best.

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